Two of Me

My choice is despised and my walk is lonely
I seek separation and segregation
Men and women seeking pleasure
A man and woman together
Apart from God's will; Selfish though it is
But very hard to resist

A part of me loathes and despises this
But another part desires it
I'm at war with myself
And when it is over
The only winner or loser
Will be the future one I am with
Did I dishonor her by my action
Or did I uplift

Will she look into the eyes of a man
Tested and strengthened by fire
Or damaged and destroyed by lust and desire
I seek separation
I find it in this paradox called Crucifixion
Die that I might live

Broken, stripped, torn and ripped
That I might live
The power of the Crucifixion
Is the death of me and the birth of me
So in brokenness, I find wholeness
In humility I find esteem
In death I find life
And the only solution for me
Is a paradox called Crucifixion